laurull.

A 21 year old mancunian with a rabbit like heart.

I woke to the smell of toast and eggs drifting through a sun-dappled curtain and I thought how lucky I am to be alive in a world of sun-dappled anything.

—Charlotte Charles, Pushing Daisies (via librarian-esque)

Also, in the 1st year of uni when I lived in halls and my skin was bad, I would NEVER leave my room without makeup on. I was so upset and self conscious about it that even if the fire alarm went off at 3 in the morning I would rush and put CONCEALER on before I would open my door and go outside. Anyyyyyyway, now I am putting a picture of my bad skin on the internet. Haven’t I grown*?

*alot more awful things have happened to me since when I was 18, so the thought of people seeing my acne is now the bottom of my anxieties list. Yes, I have a list.

My PCOS acne fun.

So, when I was 18 I was diagnosed with PCOS because my periods stopped and I had awful acne, even though I treated my skin so well.

After I was diagnosed, I went on Dianette, beautiful, wonderful, lovely Dianette. After about 7 months it started to work and my skin cleared. It also sucked all the oil from my skin and hair, which was brilliant! I thought I had my pretty much only PCOS symptom sorted. 

Well, after 18 months (i think) you can’t go on Dianette because it can cause blood clots etc. It is also not recommended if you have a heart condition. I went on a different drug for about 9 months, and it didn’t work and I wanted my dear Dianette back. I eventually was put back on Dianette, but quickly taken off it when I was investigated for a heart condition, which later turned out to be present and in need of operating on.  SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I was pretty upset and I remember saying I would rather have nice skin than a good heart (I didn’t actually know I had a heart defect at this time). I was put on Yasmin in July and for a few months my skin went mad and my skin broke out again, it was very painful. The photo at the top was taken at the end of September, I took it to remind myself how bad my skin was. The bottom picture was taken last month. I have eye makeup and powder on. I don’t wear foundation because 1) I am too pale and 2) I don’t need it. My skin isn’t perfect, it never will be and sadly I can’t do anything else to help it, but it’s a HELL of a lot better.


Yey!

I still hate PCOS and its looming presence and possibility that I might never be able to have children.